No longer as truthful as should be deserved, some names, places and events deliberately vague to protect identities that aren't mine

Wednesday 2 June 2010

Dynamics

So you all know, at least by now, that I'm a rather hardcore sub.  I like it hard, I like it rough, I like it sleazy.  Half the scenarios I'm interested in or have done are the sort of things that would disgust half of you.  I am the boy your mother warned you about.  And I don't do half of what I'd like to given the opportunity.  And as my renting life shows, given the right price, I can be just about anyone's (though even renting, there are guys I say no to).

There is however a small part of me, that is top and/or dom.  A small part, but a fundamental and very enjoyed part of me.  But what most people don't know, is that whilst I will gladly be sub for a wide range of people, I am extremely picky as a top/dom.  So if I've ever done or expressed an interest in playing that role with you, you just got a free compliment.  That's not saying I'll be sub to guys uglier than I'd top.  Just that I have different tastes according to what I'm doing.  My sub tastes are rather broad, and whilst, even renting, I've never slept with anyone I did find attractive in some way, even if that was just their sparkling personality, there are guys I would kill to sub for, or even just get fucked by, that I have no interest whatsoever in screwing myself, or tieing up and spanking.

I'm a rather sadistic dom.  Not stupidly so, I still appreciate there's only so far you can push people, but I do like to hear whimpers of pain being inflicted on a boy if I've tied them up.  I think anyone who was my boyfriend, would have to be partially vers.  They can fuck me a lot, but I want to fuck them one out of every five times or so.  Jack is a wierd one, he's always fucked me, and yet, he actually makes me about 75% top; just something about him.  I've certainly never been a submissive bottom with him, always a very active and aggressive one.  Tonight I got talking to an INSANELY hot completely passive sub boy who wants me to dom him, and I'm very eager to do so with him.  He definitely passes my picky top/dom tastes.  Hell the boy's dressing up in trackies and a collar for me and loves humiliation, this is gonna be sooooo much fun.

In some ways, I guess you'd describe my top or dom tastes as rather boring.  They have to be the picture perfect young jock, athletic and defined, but not totally muscular, think Hollister Co imagery.  Or the skinny geekhot shoreditch indieboy type to a lesser extent.  And that's somewhat similar to my straight tastes.  As a straight guy, I'm also very picky, the girls I like are not the shy librarian beauty in a non-obvious way type, it's the femme fatale every man turns to look at her in a room type, more or less.  There are of  course, exceptions to this, both in straight tastes and top tastes, but those are by definition, rare.  The downside of my straight taste is I get hardly any chance to indulge it, what with being generally a submissive gay kinkboy; it's not the best chat-up line.  And whilst I can seemingly spark the interest of guys which should clearly be way out of my league (insanelyhotboy for one) in the gay world, especially as a sub - there are advantages to being small, light, aggressive, and sleazy as hell - I'm very well aware that any girl even slightly out of my league would laugh incredulously at me if I attempted to get anywhere with them, let alone the leagues the ones I'm interested in inhabit.

I'm actually completely different with girls, hardly kinky at all, the generic now socially acceptable slap-and-tickle perhaps, but nothing like what I get up to in my gay life, from either a dom or a sub perspective.  It's all straight forward and vanilla with possibly a little more courtesy for their enjoyment of the situation by virtue of being otherwise both gay and a sub.  I'd find it very hard to sub to a girl.  Only one type possibly interests me on that front, and that's the vamp goth kink girl.  Think vampire Willow from Buffy.  If a girl like that comes up to me at Crimson and wants to flog me I'll gladly follow her round on my knees, but again, thats a very high league kinda girl, and one I'm not likely to get, so I'll be happy enough to find a girl I can play with in a bed, rather than worry about finding one who will suspend me from the ceiling.

A question which I may ask my bisexual friends: the entenal query of T, or A, I fall very much on the breasts line.  Don't get me wrong, girls can have nice arses, and shown off in a skirt in summer, I'm a happy clappy straight boy, and I do have an appreciation for the J-Lo style of arse, but guys arses are generally nicer in my opinion.  Arses are everywhere, I can get them anywhere.  What I can't get on a guy, or at the very least, I really don't want, are breasts, and straight men love breasts, and I'm no exception.  But I wonder if this is a general trend amongst bi guys, or just me, and whether its affected by bi guys who are more into girls versus bi guys who are more into guys.

Excuse me whilst I go jack off about girls...

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