No longer as truthful as should be deserved, some names, places and events deliberately vague to protect identities that aren't mine

Friday, 23 July 2010

Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em

Eurgh, parents, mothers.

Does anyone else have the problem that despite being twenty-something, and it being a temporary measure, anytime you start to raise your voice slightly, sound incredulous, or take offence to anything your parents are saying they start telling you to calm down, that they're just 'asking', just trying to have a conversation etc. Like when you were a little kid and any hint of being upset was just an indication that you were tired and it was time for bed. I just got a variation of the 'whilst under our roof, our rules etc' talk from my mother, mostly because I refuse to tell her anything about what's going on with me and Chris at the moment. Frankly, its between the two of us; if I felt like discussing it with my mother I would, and I get that some people would want to discuss it with their parents, but considering my parents don't know half of the stuff going on in my relationship, I really don't. Though at the rate she keeps pressuring me I'm going to crack and tell her everything, the kink, the being in love with other boys, the renting, but I'd like to have my escape plan firmly set before fully committing to that method of attack.

I get that she's concerned, I get that I don't tell them much about what's going on in my life, I get that all I want to do is hide in my room (in part, to avoid being confronted with further attempts at getting information out of me), and that people ask her what my plans are for next year, or why I came back from the US early, and she can't answer. For some of these things, she should really accept that I honestly don't know, yes she would know if she was in that position, but I don't live my life in the same way. And there are parts of my life I don't care to share with my parents, I'm grateful for their support, for it being without condition, but that's the point, I very obviously don't want to talk about these things, I could use your support, but I need you to trust me that I have my reasons, and my parents and I have never had a lot of trust for each other on those kind of things. I was told earlier that I'd just dropped the not going to PwC thing on them suddenly and changed my mind on the spur of the moment without warning and been lying to them the whole time telling them what they wanted to hear, WTF?! What about the solid summer of arguing, I made my decision rather late yes, but that's because rather pivotal information regarding my fee liability, i.e. the difference between 10k and 30k only came to light 7 days before I was due to start, I really couldn't help that one. But we'd been arguing like hell over it for like 3 months up to then.

This is all because I've spent too much time back at my parents with no obvious sign of leaving. I have a rule, max 2 weeks stay at theirs in any one period; any longer and it all starts to break down, and my dad and I end up at serious risk of repeating my 16th year when we actually came to blows during one argument. I've been here 12 days and the above is happening, go figure.

In conclusion, I NEED to get out of here ASAP. ANYONE, with a spare couch/bit of floor ANYWHERE (though london is of course ideal), who can put me up for a few days, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me come seek refuge with you ASAP! Before the hellmouth opens in a small country village somewhere in the home counties.

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