No longer as truthful as should be deserved, some names, places and events deliberately vague to protect identities that aren't mine

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Truths and Untruths

Are Americans more likely to be old school romantic?  Or to look for it?  A friend who's been spending a lot of time with a guy said if he had the boy's address and money he'd send a single lily to his house for when he got home.  That's so sweet it makes me want to vomit.  And I wish someone would do that for me.  Terence as I've already cited is a big cuddly carebear on the inside.  Pilar is looking for the guy who will court her in the old fashion.  Patrick and Nate live the practically married life in a woodframe house on Cape Cod.  US teen films revolve around people driving across the country on a whim for the person they love, or trying to get laid and falling for someone instead.  Maybe the British are too formal and uppity to go in for that kind of cheese nowadays.   The stiff upper lip means we can't let ourselves go enough to show how we really feel about people for fear of making a fool of ourselves.  And whilst I don't want the stepford life 24/7, coming home to dinner on a candlelit table, or being taken out to see a crappy movie, or being given a rose for no reason still makes a boy smile on the inside.

That said... at least the UK and EU are much more liberal in their attitudes to sex.  You know that scene in Love Actually where dumbass Nick goes to America and gets all the girls, i dunno about the straight US world, but its definitely like that for a gay boy in the US.  Between the US being  a lot more obvious and straightforward with their cruising, and being British meaning I'm a lot more forward in saying what I want beyond that point, I can pretty much get anything here.  In the UK we play our games and do our dance before admitting we like each other; in the US they do it after before admittinig just how much they like each other.  Same shit, different country.

Anyway, I started  this post to write about something that was going to be telling the truth that i wasn't saying to people's faces, like ya know, the whole point of the blog beyond me generally bitching about the state of the world, but then shit happened and I ended up saying it to their faces instead, so now its not so much a half truth, but nonetheless I'll tell you anyway.  So Matt (T's ex) had invited himself along to this weekend on the Cape and Terence, being a sucker for a boy who cries, ended up agreeing to take him in the car 'cause he's an idiot.  Sunday night, when we were out in Ptown at a beach house that Terence's friend/possible future boy/love interest Bobby was staying at, all hell broke loose between Matt and Terence.  Matt had been trying to hook up with this twinky boy Mark all night, which pissed Terence off 'cause he thought it was rude and insensitive to do that in front of him when they're still very much in the post-breakup phase, despite the fact Terence had been telling me all week that he was gonna break Matt's heart by being with Bobby that weekend but whatever.  Anyway, Terence got pissed, decided it was time to leave, and Matt had to chase after us; a 2.5 mile walk back ensued with T and Matt arguing over their relationship and me biting my lip not to involve myself.  It was a case of I could either walk by them and say nothing, or get involved and really start something.  But there were so many times when I wanted to.  When Terence said he was nowhere near as bad as Matt during the relationship.  When Matt said the rumours he'd cheated were just that and terence was making them up in his head, despite the fact we'd both been there when matt's friend adam had said it was true to the both of us.  I thought I was gonna come up when Matt started talking about how many boys Terence had screwed.  I dunno if I didn't because Matt is genuinely that oblivious, or out of some sense of propriety that I was there.  If he had I probably would have hit him.  I came close to many many times, I had a permenant fist in my hand whilst walking.  And Terence wouldn't have stopped me.  But I was a good boy

A while later Matt tried starting a conversation with me, and I think he was a little shocked when I told him that I would happily hit him if he tried talking about it and getting me on his side.  Whilst there is much more than I admitted to with him to it, it holds true for what I did say; Terence is my friend, and thus I will be loyal to him to a fault.  I don't care whether he's right, or wrong, or I believe in him or not, I will stand by him; I will hold his hand and pick him up off the ground.  I will protect him and fight for him no matter what, against whatever odds, because that's what I do for my friends.  And when I'm in love with the boy, my loyalty is pretty much lethal.  But as I say, this isn't so secret anymore, because I made it perfectly clear to matt that whilst I will gladly be civil to him, I am not his friend, and unlikely to become so under the circumstances.

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