No longer as truthful as should be deserved, some names, places and events deliberately vague to protect identities that aren't mine

Sunday, 24 March 2013

Thoughts 2

I don't know why people say they wish they were on a beach somewhere when they need a time out from life.  Sure beaches are lovely, and great, but you can only spend so much time on them.  I'd rather be skiing, coming in from the cold, sore from where I've pushed myself too hard or where I've fallen, and grabbing that hot chocolate that's so hot it burns your tongue and you don't care, before doing it all over again, and then in the evening when you finally get home, you spend too long in a hot shower or bath, you go into an outdoor hottub and dont move for an hour because you dont want to brave the cold, or you find the nearest bar, drink like hell, and collapse before getting up at 5am to do it all the next day.

But where I want to go to relax?  I'd like to be in bed, with a cute boy - I normally wake up around 7.30 am when I'm with him, and I'd open my eyes and even in a half asleep state I'd know I was already smiling and happy, because I'd see him next to me, because I could stay in bed next to him, and curl up next to his body and feel safe and warm just having him there.  Because it's still so much of a rarity that I get to see him there, that I can appreciate it at 7.30am, even if I or he had to get up and leave the other in bed, even if the other never roused even slightly as we got up, he's there.  I spent my whole night sleeping next to him, and I might never get that chance again.  I wasn't even conscious or aware of it, but just waking up and realising that I've spent 8 hours happy and calm and safe because he was there, and he still is, and I can fall back asleep knowing that is the best feeling I can ever have, the most relaxing one.  We might even be angry at each other, and we'll still sleep together, and we'll wake up, and we might start arguing 20 minutes later, but for those few moments, that first bit of awareness when you stop sleeping, none of that matters, none of that is important, all that's important and all that matters and all that makes you smile and realise how lucky you are, is them.

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