I've never been great at reading social cues and knowing how to interact appropriately.
Throwing in a whole host of mental issues can make this almost impossible to do. I'm certain I'm doing the exact wrong thing, I'm just not sure what that is or what it's in response to, so I don't stand a chance of adjusting it.
Well tonight was one of those occasions where someone eventually switched from dropping hints which had gone over my head to having to point blank tell me I'm weirding people out and should excuse myself.
This after I'd had some severe anxiety and paranoia issues so all in all, it's been a pretty crappy day.
Of course I'll try to be better next time. I'll try to control my crazy better. I'll try to put on a better mask. I'll try to understand better and not make others uncomfortable. I'll try not to end up closed off in a little room by myself. (Do you remember sleeping in a different room at a parent'a friends house as a kid? The world around you is alien and doesn't give you that same sense of solace your own bedroom does. You're shut off from the world you know and you can hear fragments of your parents and their friends still up, but it's a world to which you're not invited. It's a very similar feeling.)
My only destiny is to be a world class frak up.
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