I have to make it through I tell myself. I have to get through this. By why? Why do I tell myself that?
Because it's what's expected. Because it'd look bad otherwise.
You have to deal with it. Just till then. After that, you can collapse for a bit, let a little bit out, before you have to make it through again.
Don't run. Don't hide. Don't look for a way out. Where would you even go. Where could you go. Where could you actually go and not need to come back. So don't run. You can't. There's no point. You just have to get on with it. Stick it out. You can't leave. Even if you tried, you know you can't.
Giving up. Stopping. Failing. That's pathetic. So keep going. Get on with it. Do it. Until you can break just a little bit. And then get on with it all over again.