Today I watched one of my best friends be an asshole.
That shouldn't have been a surprise; it's certainly nothing new in terms of how we interact with each other. He was an asshole to people he cares about.
Even that's not the problem. The problem is his choice of actions (due disclaimer: I should note my actions have not been admirable at various points this weekend) is one that reveals that he was calculated, to a mercenary extent. He knew what he was doing, he knew how it would come across to others, he knew what the consequences of it would be. And he still chose to do it.
It's not a drunken mistake or heat of the moment idiocy, it's calculated, to inflict exactly the damage that it does, knowing full well every step needed to achieve that.
The biggest problem was that I then realised I like my friend because he's an asshole. Which is exactly why I like(d) my ex. Which is exactly why me and another best friend of mine get on.
As another friend commented: like attracts like.
I knew from the moment my friend made step 1 of his choices exactly what it would lead to, and the repercussions, because it's the same reaction I would have to that situation and so I instantly knew every reason why it was made.
No surprises, but me and the people I hold as role models aren't exactly shining paragons of... well... anything.