No longer as truthful as should be deserved, some names, places and events deliberately vague to protect identities that aren't mine

Monday, 20 July 2015

Shut the fuck up you're amazing

So this was obviously a private conversation, but I've decided to share some parts of it, because it's the first time I think I've ever managed to properly put into words that do due justice to the truly platonic love I have for #Blondie

In worrying about him, and giving him more that he was giving me (cause he's hiding from his own demons in fairness) I failed you: by being too angry to wait for you; by being so angry it overrode my near constant impulse to look out for you in whatever way I can.  You are one of the few people I can save, and sometimes I need to for my own sanity, and I failed you on that this weekend.

Sometimes I hold myself to an unnecessarily and unfairly high standard, it's silly I know.  But you are one of the people I can consistently meet it for ... I know your safety isn't my responsibility, and it's not something I can ever guarantee, but it is something I can do, that I can't do for a lot of people, for a lot of people I wish I could ... never doubt that I will strive to do better by both of us next time.

In some very rare moments, I manage to articulate exactly what my feelings are, without losing anything along the way.  This was one of them.

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