No longer as truthful as should be deserved, some names, places and events deliberately vague to protect identities that aren't mine

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

A lot of love to give

I've had my eye on a few boys for a while now.  Not sure if I want to date them or not.  I don't really know them - we've only met each other a handful of times.  Friends of friends.

Which in its own way makes it quite difficult to see them - they're not really someone I met and started an interaction with that's just fallen to the side - our connection is in reference to another; calling them up and chancing it would be so overtly out of the blue it risks putting people off, but that equally just furthers the problem that I don't know them well enough to work out if I want to or to wager whether I think they'd even be vaguely interested or not - it might all just be I met them and think they're nicer than most.

Work doesn't help of course, trying to find free time is a nightmare and the bit of it I do get is either spent tending to my extremely fragile mental health state at current (another major selling point when asking someone out, obviously) or with those I get most value out of the shortest time.  And I'm very conscious I'm about to start ramping up towards busy season at work, which makes asking anyone out rather pointless - I'd see them one, maybe twice and then come across as uninterested as I disappear for the better part of 2.5 months

I'd like to see more of these boys, to work out what's there even if its nothing.  But we don't see each other much at all and even when we do I'm not really good at making conversation with people, especially people I don't know well.

More than that though, I'd just like someone again.  Not anyone.  I'm not that stupid.  But it's been long enough and I really miss having someone.

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