Friday, 10 December 2010
Life
Life is hard. Really hard. A lot of the time. And some days you know exactly why you fight so hard for it. Most of the time I just carry on because I have nothing better to do with my time and it has the small chance of providing some passing amusement in any given day. But overall, I have no idea why we all struggle so much, for something so transient.
Friday, 3 December 2010
Awesometimes
So basically today has been ALL kinds of awesome. New year will be AMAZING
Aside from the epic raise listed below. We ran a test on a demo mic we have on hire, and it was so impressive even the big boss came up to me and asked what I'd done and how much it would cost to do that, and he seems really sold on them, which means I should get a massive £2k boost to my budget at work with which to buy us a load of shiny new mics for the new January show! YAYS
I'll be able to afford shit in January. I'll be able to go to the gym and like my body again. On top of that, Terence is due to come over in February, which although I'll be crazy busy during, will be... well indescribable. I grin stupidly just at the prospect even now, expect me to be unbearable come the end of January.
And further more, my friend Shawn just said he might be coming over in the Spring from California! So that's more friends I get to see.
Added to that is the fact that I can now afford to take me and Chris to the US in the summer for a month. Next year is looking so good in so many ways.
And if I work things out right, maybe in the later part of next year, I could go to Australia and visit someone who understands me in ways even Chris, Jack, Terence or Joel don't, and who I miss, every damned day, an amazing kid, and someone who'd I'd easily count as one of my best friends even though we've only hung out a handful of times. Ryan, I miss you like crazy, you're awesome, and I wish you'd hurry up and come back here!
Aside from the epic raise listed below. We ran a test on a demo mic we have on hire, and it was so impressive even the big boss came up to me and asked what I'd done and how much it would cost to do that, and he seems really sold on them, which means I should get a massive £2k boost to my budget at work with which to buy us a load of shiny new mics for the new January show! YAYS
I'll be able to afford shit in January. I'll be able to go to the gym and like my body again. On top of that, Terence is due to come over in February, which although I'll be crazy busy during, will be... well indescribable. I grin stupidly just at the prospect even now, expect me to be unbearable come the end of January.
And further more, my friend Shawn just said he might be coming over in the Spring from California! So that's more friends I get to see.
Added to that is the fact that I can now afford to take me and Chris to the US in the summer for a month. Next year is looking so good in so many ways.
And if I work things out right, maybe in the later part of next year, I could go to Australia and visit someone who understands me in ways even Chris, Jack, Terence or Joel don't, and who I miss, every damned day, an amazing kid, and someone who'd I'd easily count as one of my best friends even though we've only hung out a handful of times. Ryan, I miss you like crazy, you're awesome, and I wish you'd hurry up and come back here!
Must be funny...
Either work read my blog and someone spoke to the right people, or I'm just naturally that awesome, but the most AMAZING news has happened.
I was feeling REALLY shitty the last couple of days. Being so broke for so long was finally taking its toll on me, I was about to crack. I was sick of work, I was sick of not being able to afford to eat. I was sick of never knowing if I'd even be able to pay my rent each month, I was sick of not going out or seeing anyone, I was sick of not being able to comfort buy to help that, I was sick of being stuck at home, I was sick of being stuck around Chris, I was sick of Chris and I not being able to go out for dinner, I was sick of everything in the way that only being flat broke for a year and a half can do to you (he says having gone to the US this summer, I have my priorities, leave it at that).
Today, the big boss pulled me aside (always worrying), and told me they were really happy with the work I do, and were going to give me a raise. That was an understatement. I was on £7ph, which is nothing to live on in London. I am now on £15ph. That's £120 per day, pratically contracting rates! That's a healthy, and respectable £31k per year.
My pay has more than doubled, £7ph just covered my rent and bills (but no food). This means virtually all that extra is dispoable income. This means I can save. This means I can go on holiday. This means I can take Chris on holiday. This means I can pay £100 per month into my pension. This means I can buy shoes that actually keep the cold out. This means I can happily afford a gym membership. This means I can pay off my credit card debt next year. This means when Chris is pissing me off I can go out, and stay out, or I can grab Joel and go to Amsterdam or Manchester for the weekend because we feel like it. This means I can come back, and take Chris to dinner, or see a show, or something date like to spend some time together that isn't me tired from work and him studying. This means if I want new game, or cd I can afford it. This means I can shop somewhere other than primark and get clothes that actually fit me. This means I can buy the food This means after all that, I might even have £100 left so that when I randomly need to go to waitrose to buy dinner because I'm working 90 hour weeks, or I need coffee, or I'm feeling down and want to get the new Armani Exchange sweater to make myself feel better, I can. And I don't need to worry all the freakin' time about how I'm going to afford anything.
And it's more than that. My CV says technical manager for the venue I work at. On my old salary there's no way I could have stayed past March. Now I can stay, in a job I love, at a venue that challenges me every single day. Now I have the salary to back up my job title. Now, when however many years in the future I'm looking for another job, I can argue my worth effectively. A technical manager on £14k is either a shit manager, in a shit venue, or hyperinflating their job title. A technical manager on £31k does a good job. For a respectable venue. They're willing to do 90 hour weeks when needed. As my mum put it, it's now "a proper job, on a proper salary."
I'm not careful with money, I know this, but like I said, this gives me the money to go pay into my pension, and save for a holiday, and then go see my friends afterwards. Not either/or each month. This makes me a 23 year old earning £31k for a job he never did a degree or formal educational training in, for a job I picked up from a student society and happened to be good at. I don't have to worry so much anymore. Sure I'll be broke some months, but it'll be my own damned fault, because I just *had* to buy the collectors edition, or that new pair of jeans, or I took Chris out. I can pay for dinner when I go out with my parents for once. I can be a normal happy human being, and that's fantastic.
And my mind, now doing backflips and being so much relaxed from where it was this time last night, notices. Earlier I was dreaming of an insanely hot boy, and him kissing me. Happy at work, happy at home, happy in dreams. Roll on my next paycheck!
I was feeling REALLY shitty the last couple of days. Being so broke for so long was finally taking its toll on me, I was about to crack. I was sick of work, I was sick of not being able to afford to eat. I was sick of never knowing if I'd even be able to pay my rent each month, I was sick of not going out or seeing anyone, I was sick of not being able to comfort buy to help that, I was sick of being stuck at home, I was sick of being stuck around Chris, I was sick of Chris and I not being able to go out for dinner, I was sick of everything in the way that only being flat broke for a year and a half can do to you (he says having gone to the US this summer, I have my priorities, leave it at that).
Today, the big boss pulled me aside (always worrying), and told me they were really happy with the work I do, and were going to give me a raise. That was an understatement. I was on £7ph, which is nothing to live on in London. I am now on £15ph. That's £120 per day, pratically contracting rates! That's a healthy, and respectable £31k per year.
My pay has more than doubled, £7ph just covered my rent and bills (but no food). This means virtually all that extra is dispoable income. This means I can save. This means I can go on holiday. This means I can take Chris on holiday. This means I can pay £100 per month into my pension. This means I can buy shoes that actually keep the cold out. This means I can happily afford a gym membership. This means I can pay off my credit card debt next year. This means when Chris is pissing me off I can go out, and stay out, or I can grab Joel and go to Amsterdam or Manchester for the weekend because we feel like it. This means I can come back, and take Chris to dinner, or see a show, or something date like to spend some time together that isn't me tired from work and him studying. This means if I want new game, or cd I can afford it. This means I can shop somewhere other than primark and get clothes that actually fit me. This means I can buy the food This means after all that, I might even have £100 left so that when I randomly need to go to waitrose to buy dinner because I'm working 90 hour weeks, or I need coffee, or I'm feeling down and want to get the new Armani Exchange sweater to make myself feel better, I can. And I don't need to worry all the freakin' time about how I'm going to afford anything.
And it's more than that. My CV says technical manager for the venue I work at. On my old salary there's no way I could have stayed past March. Now I can stay, in a job I love, at a venue that challenges me every single day. Now I have the salary to back up my job title. Now, when however many years in the future I'm looking for another job, I can argue my worth effectively. A technical manager on £14k is either a shit manager, in a shit venue, or hyperinflating their job title. A technical manager on £31k does a good job. For a respectable venue. They're willing to do 90 hour weeks when needed. As my mum put it, it's now "a proper job, on a proper salary."
I'm not careful with money, I know this, but like I said, this gives me the money to go pay into my pension, and save for a holiday, and then go see my friends afterwards. Not either/or each month. This makes me a 23 year old earning £31k for a job he never did a degree or formal educational training in, for a job I picked up from a student society and happened to be good at. I don't have to worry so much anymore. Sure I'll be broke some months, but it'll be my own damned fault, because I just *had* to buy the collectors edition, or that new pair of jeans, or I took Chris out. I can pay for dinner when I go out with my parents for once. I can be a normal happy human being, and that's fantastic.
And my mind, now doing backflips and being so much relaxed from where it was this time last night, notices. Earlier I was dreaming of an insanely hot boy, and him kissing me. Happy at work, happy at home, happy in dreams. Roll on my next paycheck!
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
Keep the change ya filthy animal
I follow a lot of random crap on twitter. One of them is @WTFSexFacts which tweets bits of sexual culture oddities like the world's first vibrator and other assorted bits of humorous paraphernalia, as well as random sex related quirks like how many nerves are in each of the body's erogenous zones.
Earlier this evening, this was tweeted:
So, my boyfriend just told me he is bisexual. Should I (A) Dump him now? (B) Use him for warmth through winter? (C) Replace and then dump?
Now, it's nicely packaged in a vague attempt at humour, but I really shouldn't need to point out to any of you the horrific prejudice against bisexuals contained in this comment. Twitter sure did. I told them to get over themselves. They obviously liked this person enough to consider them their boyfriend beforehand, whilst it might throw up some issues - for example I can understand there might be some things to talk about if this happened 3 months into the relationship, rather than after 2 weeks - the simple fact of the guy's sexuality shouldn't determine the future of the relationship. I'm not saying this sort of admission doesn't cause problems, but to determine if someone is 'dateable' on the basis of whether they're potentially attracted to 50% or 100% of the population is plain ignorant.
Firstly, I'd like to give some kudos to the boyfriend in the circumstances. Coming out to your family and your friends isn't an entirely comfortable experience for almost everybody. You can never be 100% sure of the reaction you'll get, even from those who know you inside out otherwise, and have known you since childhood or before. Coming out to your partner is a delicious awkwardness reserved for bisexuals alone. Well and transsexuals I suppose. This is the person that either is, or you hope will be, one of the closest, most important, and most intimate people in your life. It's a lot to risk, and it's a lot to expose yourself to, because if the reaction is negative, it's going to cause a lot MORE problems than just a bit of discomfort or a lost friend.
The next tweet to come from @WTFSexFacts was:
I have nothing against bisexuals. I just don't date them. I have many as friends though. Lonely people
Oh gee great, because that's so much better. Frankly, to me, that kind of comment is reminiscent of the same logic that says 'gays can do my hair and be my interior designer, but they're not allowed to marry, I don't want them living on my street, and I'm scared for my children being within a 50 mile radius of them'. Apparently, we bisexuals are have some weird leprous facet to our personalities that makes us undesirable in the dating world. And as a result we are all lonely miserable, and can never land/keep a partner and are always desperate to cheat on them with the other sex so we can feel fulfilled and happy and content for a good 5 minutes. Or something like that as I understand it.
Slowly however, things become clearer:
I dated a bisexual in my teens once. He dumped me for a girl. Dumped her for another boy. And so on and so on.
It emerges that the good @WTFSexFacts has obviously had a bad experience in the past, and is thus lambasting everyone with the same paint brush, so to speak. And we all now how stable and reasoned the relationships we form as teenagers are.
Having been called on such points, the response was:
Well, why did he need to tell me? I call that softening somebody up for the blow. If he planned on monogamy, I'd have been none the wiser.
Now as stated, I have a lot of respect for the boyfriend for being brave enough to come out with this, but I'll grant you I'm biased. And yes, depending on the exact circumstances this was communicated, and how long into the relationship it was, there's no doubt a lot more to it than some mere tweet reports can offer us, but all that aside, most people I know don't like to be lied to by their partner. They don't like to find out from a friend of a friend, or 10 years down the line. The monogamy point, is mute. Assuming the best intentions in the boyfriend in revealing this, then it was to be honest, to share, and to head off the minor potential of a lifetime's worth of frustration exploding into an affair, by knowing that the subject can be discussed in the relationship, and often that's all a lot of things meed to stop them from ever actually becoming a problem. That's not a relationship thing, that's a human social interaction thing. Every damned one of you reading this has felt the need to rant about something at some point, and having done that, you feel calmer and better about it and it no longer bothers you. A 5 minute bitch every so often and you're good. I also severely dislike the implication that an admission of bisexuality is just a way to get out of a relationship.
This goes back and forth back and forth on twitter for a good while, in fact it's still going on. @WTFSexFacts seems to continuously voice/confuse the opinion that bisexuals have some sort of uncontrollable compulsion to be sexually active with both sexes, and that they are by nature unfaithful, quoting his authority as a sex fact researcher, but no actual statistical sources, along with the misguided personal perception that there is no way he will be able to fulfil a bisexual's needs and make them happy.
Finally, about an hour ago, this comes out:
Let us just say I date him and 10 years down the line his other needs surface and he finds a girlfriend. I'll want those 10 years back.
Whereas of course, if @WTFSexFacts was with a completely gay individual, the chances of that individual turning round in 10 years and saying they'd met another guy are in fact non-existent. It's a little known fact about gays that they are in fact perfectly faithful, whilst straights are getting divorced and bisexuals get distracted mid-fuck they're so promiscuous.
I can't be bothered to post all the other idiotic, depressing, offensive, and bigoted tweets that have come out of this feed this evening. Go look them up if you're that bothered. @WTFSexTweets seems to think that biseuxality is a choice. And that you're just undecided. Of course I never really understand how this argument works when you accept that gay and straight sexualities are not choices, but just a fact of nature. Unless you're expected to be like gay christians - you can be a gay christian, you're just expected not to have sex? Others involves in the back and forth suggested that @WTF should go get tested immediately, because apparently bisexuals are full of diseases. The gay agenda gets talked about all the time, but none of you probably knew about the bi agenda. Item one is the usurping of the gay superAIDS, with biAIDS, which kills you instantly.
What's most depressing about this is that even though the account often delivers tweets with a level of tongue in cheek sarcasm, it does claim to be a factual account, and so to voice someone's personal prejudices on it, to 50,000 odd followers, some of which are not all wordly wise, and ask the account questions precisely because they don't know anything, gives off a very bad representation, and on top of this the amount of times @WTF's tweets were being re-tweeted in a positive fashion. Finally, the guy tweeting from @WTF, is a gay gay. This isn't some idiot republican midwest "there are no gays in my town" making these tweets. It's a UK based gay guy. If that's the level of intolerance and judgement coming towards bisexuals from those who have the best chance of understanding what a burden sexuality can be, how in the hell do you stand a chance of educating the more ignorant masses?!
To be honest, you have it hard as a bisexual. The straights mistrust and are confused by you at best, and at worst lump you in with the gays for eternal damnation or civil rights issues. And you're not better off amongst the gays either; most of them think you're in denial, supporting a prejudice that gay is something to be avoided, greedy, or just plain indecisive. To paraphrase @WTF's words, 'if you can't decide what gender you're attracted to, how are you going to decide on a person?' (I shouldn't need to explain to you how this is ALL kinds of wrong). You can't really do bisexual orientated events, beyond a social mixer perhaps; they simply don't work, and end up just being stunted or forced versions of their gay/straight counterparts.
People out there, even fairly reasonable people, seem to have this irrational paranoia that you're going to inevitably cheat on them with someone of whatever gender they're not, because you have no willpower or self control, and they simply can't compete and offer you what you need. Frankly, Chris doesn't provide me breasts, but then he doesn't provide me with an athletic jock build either. These are not things I need. These are ideals. We all have them. And we all have to throw most of them out of the window when it comes down to who we actually end up falling in love with by sheer chance of the universe. Your gay or straight partner stands no more or less chance of doing any of these things based on sexuality alone than anyone else.
Get over yourselves people. @WTFSexFacts pissed me off today, and disappointed me, and made me physically ill at several points. But that's just representative. I'm not trying to say bi's have it worse than any other minority group out there, but a little support from the LGBTQQI groupings who would be a really good and well deserved start. We have a lot in common, we face a lot of the same trials and hardships, we've experienced a lot of the same suffering, prejudice and oppression. Why, do the bullied, end up just bullying others even weaker than them in life? Bisexuals are people, Just like everyone else. Just like your gay best friend. Just like your parents. They make mistakes, they have flaws, but no more than everyone else. One person might not be right for you, but that's because of them as a person, not because of who they might, potentially, find attractive.
Earlier this evening, this was tweeted:
So, my boyfriend just told me he is bisexual. Should I (A) Dump him now? (B) Use him for warmth through winter? (C) Replace and then dump?
Now, it's nicely packaged in a vague attempt at humour, but I really shouldn't need to point out to any of you the horrific prejudice against bisexuals contained in this comment. Twitter sure did. I told them to get over themselves. They obviously liked this person enough to consider them their boyfriend beforehand, whilst it might throw up some issues - for example I can understand there might be some things to talk about if this happened 3 months into the relationship, rather than after 2 weeks - the simple fact of the guy's sexuality shouldn't determine the future of the relationship. I'm not saying this sort of admission doesn't cause problems, but to determine if someone is 'dateable' on the basis of whether they're potentially attracted to 50% or 100% of the population is plain ignorant.
Firstly, I'd like to give some kudos to the boyfriend in the circumstances. Coming out to your family and your friends isn't an entirely comfortable experience for almost everybody. You can never be 100% sure of the reaction you'll get, even from those who know you inside out otherwise, and have known you since childhood or before. Coming out to your partner is a delicious awkwardness reserved for bisexuals alone. Well and transsexuals I suppose. This is the person that either is, or you hope will be, one of the closest, most important, and most intimate people in your life. It's a lot to risk, and it's a lot to expose yourself to, because if the reaction is negative, it's going to cause a lot MORE problems than just a bit of discomfort or a lost friend.
The next tweet to come from @WTFSexFacts was:
I have nothing against bisexuals. I just don't date them. I have many as friends though. Lonely people
Oh gee great, because that's so much better. Frankly, to me, that kind of comment is reminiscent of the same logic that says 'gays can do my hair and be my interior designer, but they're not allowed to marry, I don't want them living on my street, and I'm scared for my children being within a 50 mile radius of them'. Apparently, we bisexuals are have some weird leprous facet to our personalities that makes us undesirable in the dating world. And as a result we are all lonely miserable, and can never land/keep a partner and are always desperate to cheat on them with the other sex so we can feel fulfilled and happy and content for a good 5 minutes. Or something like that as I understand it.
Slowly however, things become clearer:
I dated a bisexual in my teens once. He dumped me for a girl. Dumped her for another boy. And so on and so on.
It emerges that the good @WTFSexFacts has obviously had a bad experience in the past, and is thus lambasting everyone with the same paint brush, so to speak. And we all now how stable and reasoned the relationships we form as teenagers are.
Having been called on such points, the response was:
Well, why did he need to tell me? I call that softening somebody up for the blow. If he planned on monogamy, I'd have been none the wiser.
Now as stated, I have a lot of respect for the boyfriend for being brave enough to come out with this, but I'll grant you I'm biased. And yes, depending on the exact circumstances this was communicated, and how long into the relationship it was, there's no doubt a lot more to it than some mere tweet reports can offer us, but all that aside, most people I know don't like to be lied to by their partner. They don't like to find out from a friend of a friend, or 10 years down the line. The monogamy point, is mute. Assuming the best intentions in the boyfriend in revealing this, then it was to be honest, to share, and to head off the minor potential of a lifetime's worth of frustration exploding into an affair, by knowing that the subject can be discussed in the relationship, and often that's all a lot of things meed to stop them from ever actually becoming a problem. That's not a relationship thing, that's a human social interaction thing. Every damned one of you reading this has felt the need to rant about something at some point, and having done that, you feel calmer and better about it and it no longer bothers you. A 5 minute bitch every so often and you're good. I also severely dislike the implication that an admission of bisexuality is just a way to get out of a relationship.
This goes back and forth back and forth on twitter for a good while, in fact it's still going on. @WTFSexFacts seems to continuously voice/confuse the opinion that bisexuals have some sort of uncontrollable compulsion to be sexually active with both sexes, and that they are by nature unfaithful, quoting his authority as a sex fact researcher, but no actual statistical sources, along with the misguided personal perception that there is no way he will be able to fulfil a bisexual's needs and make them happy.
Finally, about an hour ago, this comes out:
Let us just say I date him and 10 years down the line his other needs surface and he finds a girlfriend. I'll want those 10 years back.
Whereas of course, if @WTFSexFacts was with a completely gay individual, the chances of that individual turning round in 10 years and saying they'd met another guy are in fact non-existent. It's a little known fact about gays that they are in fact perfectly faithful, whilst straights are getting divorced and bisexuals get distracted mid-fuck they're so promiscuous.
I can't be bothered to post all the other idiotic, depressing, offensive, and bigoted tweets that have come out of this feed this evening. Go look them up if you're that bothered. @WTFSexTweets seems to think that biseuxality is a choice. And that you're just undecided. Of course I never really understand how this argument works when you accept that gay and straight sexualities are not choices, but just a fact of nature. Unless you're expected to be like gay christians - you can be a gay christian, you're just expected not to have sex? Others involves in the back and forth suggested that @WTF should go get tested immediately, because apparently bisexuals are full of diseases. The gay agenda gets talked about all the time, but none of you probably knew about the bi agenda. Item one is the usurping of the gay superAIDS, with biAIDS, which kills you instantly.
What's most depressing about this is that even though the account often delivers tweets with a level of tongue in cheek sarcasm, it does claim to be a factual account, and so to voice someone's personal prejudices on it, to 50,000 odd followers, some of which are not all wordly wise, and ask the account questions precisely because they don't know anything, gives off a very bad representation, and on top of this the amount of times @WTF's tweets were being re-tweeted in a positive fashion. Finally, the guy tweeting from @WTF, is a gay gay. This isn't some idiot republican midwest "there are no gays in my town" making these tweets. It's a UK based gay guy. If that's the level of intolerance and judgement coming towards bisexuals from those who have the best chance of understanding what a burden sexuality can be, how in the hell do you stand a chance of educating the more ignorant masses?!
To be honest, you have it hard as a bisexual. The straights mistrust and are confused by you at best, and at worst lump you in with the gays for eternal damnation or civil rights issues. And you're not better off amongst the gays either; most of them think you're in denial, supporting a prejudice that gay is something to be avoided, greedy, or just plain indecisive. To paraphrase @WTF's words, 'if you can't decide what gender you're attracted to, how are you going to decide on a person?' (I shouldn't need to explain to you how this is ALL kinds of wrong). You can't really do bisexual orientated events, beyond a social mixer perhaps; they simply don't work, and end up just being stunted or forced versions of their gay/straight counterparts.
People out there, even fairly reasonable people, seem to have this irrational paranoia that you're going to inevitably cheat on them with someone of whatever gender they're not, because you have no willpower or self control, and they simply can't compete and offer you what you need. Frankly, Chris doesn't provide me breasts, but then he doesn't provide me with an athletic jock build either. These are not things I need. These are ideals. We all have them. And we all have to throw most of them out of the window when it comes down to who we actually end up falling in love with by sheer chance of the universe. Your gay or straight partner stands no more or less chance of doing any of these things based on sexuality alone than anyone else.
Get over yourselves people. @WTFSexFacts pissed me off today, and disappointed me, and made me physically ill at several points. But that's just representative. I'm not trying to say bi's have it worse than any other minority group out there, but a little support from the LGBTQQI groupings who would be a really good and well deserved start. We have a lot in common, we face a lot of the same trials and hardships, we've experienced a lot of the same suffering, prejudice and oppression. Why, do the bullied, end up just bullying others even weaker than them in life? Bisexuals are people, Just like everyone else. Just like your gay best friend. Just like your parents. They make mistakes, they have flaws, but no more than everyone else. One person might not be right for you, but that's because of them as a person, not because of who they might, potentially, find attractive.
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
The money crisis: Part 3 (Bad Math)
I posted recently about my extreme level of being poor. Or rather, my extreme lack of income to do anything other than put a roof over my head with. We've been holding auditions recently for the new January show and it came up in conversation with the boyfriend last night as to what salary they earn. Standard equity rates. The bf said, "I assume even less than you", seeing as how being a low grade performer is not a hugely well paid job, and me, being management staff in a permanent position and all, you would think would be on a decent wage, comparatively speaking of course.
But of course you'd be wrong. Equity rates are currently about £350-450 per week, depending on what you're doing, and this allows the company contracting you up to 8 performances in a week, plus rehearsals.. We generally do 5, but this allows us some breathing room for special events and private lunches and other such things. My gross salary doesn't even break 300 per week, and by the time tax is taken into account, it's barely over 200. The actors are getting twice my salary, for turning up half the time I do. Obviously I appreciate there's more that goes into acting, singing, juggling etc, than just turning up and doing the job. There's time spent learning lines, practicising songs, recognition of the time and investment others have spent refining their skills, a coverage of the necessary insurance premiums incurred by stage fighters etc. You're paying for recognition of the level of their skill, not just the skill itself. But that puts my recognised skill level pretty fucking low based on the quality of a lot of the auditionees we've had. And I do things in my own time, I look to further myself, my skillset, I spend time awake at home creating a new lighting plot instead of sleeping.
I'm not entitled to equity rates. I'm not on an equity contract, I'm not equity registered or affiliated, and I took my job at the offered rate of £7ph. I effectively operate as the venue's technical manager, due to it being a small scale venue as far as the world of theatrical entertainment goes. I'm expected to be designer, manager, operator and builder all in one. And I am not a Mountview Stage Management graduate with a nice accreddited degree. That's kind of fine. That goes with the job, it goes with the industry, it goes with what I signed up to do.
But I really wish my salary reflected even just a little bit of that. As an Equity Stage Manager I would be entitled to the same rate as our actors. If you wanted to take into account the fact I have to do frequent and regular designs for lights, sound, set, etc. Then freelance fees for a lighting design, even small scale, are considerable. I both stage manage and I don't. Lisa spends more time on the floor, doing what would count as stage management in this venue, but I will be taking over a lot of the backstage authority come January. A stage manager gets paid a premium per performance. Generally, a lot of techs aren't paid equity rates, it's not a luxury we have. Entertainment, like retail, architecture, and city banking is one of those industries where it doesn't matter how many hours you're putting in, if you bitch about it there's a queue of other people waiting to do your job and not bitch. But generally you're paid something such that you don't start bitching it in the first place. Especially when you're a one man tech show. Unless you're at Edinburgh of course, but that's
an isolated microcosm in itself with its own laws of physics, so we can exclude it from our studies.
If you discount the rather wide remit of my role, if you discount the management aspect of it, the design aspect. If you just count what my new starter wage form precisely says, I am a technician. So fine, count me as a theatre technician. If you look at average theatre technician salaries. I come very firmly in the bottom region of what could be expected. On a regional breakdown, I get paid about £10k less than expected for a theatre technician. If I could get the extra £10k, I wouldn't even begin to mention the fact I design and manage on top of that.
Sunday, 28 November 2010
And that has made all the difference
It pisses me off a lot that I always seem to have to be the one to initiate the conversation. Sometimes I give up entirely and refuse to do so anymore. But eventually the urge to say hi gets the better of me, usually no more than a week following. And whenever I do say hi, I'm reminded that it's worth being the one to always start it, because he always comes back at me with a pet name, and tells me that he loves me and misses me. :)
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Balancing the Budget
Net Income: £200pw (~£800pcm)
Outgoings:
Rent: £433.33
Utilities: £50 (water, electric, gas, internet)
Phone: £50
Council Tax: £152
Credit Cards: £60 (2x £30)
Travel: £80 (£20pw)
This comes to outgoings of £825pcm
You may, or may not have noticed, this is not including food costs of approx. £100 per month, which I actually can't afford at the moment, so the bf keeps graciously buying it so that I don't starve, but thus my outgoings are in fact in the region of £1000pcm, before any incidentals or disposable income.
This is, as shown, in all cases, more than my monthly income.
And thus, I am flat broke., in fact I am beyond flat broke and steadily getting worse and worse, as inevitably, I do spend money on a magazine, or some lunch, or the extra £5 return travel to see a friend once a week, and the £10 monthly spotify membership so I can carry my music wherever I am, so I lose more than just £25 per month.
There are some fine points to note; I pay all the council tax by myself as I'm the only working person in my house, so I'm effectively paying 3 people's share of it. £1000 worth of outgoings sounds like a lot, but actually is fairly reasonable for someone living in London. When you think about it, this requires a net salary of £12k, which works out at around £13k gross, so hardly extravagant. I could live further out for cheaper, but that would involve longer commute times (not appreciated during 90 hour weeks), and incur higher transport costs, so a lot of the goodness would be negated. I could get rid of my mobile phone, or my spotify membership, and sell my tv and computer and such, but I like to allow myself some form of entertainment and connection to the rest of the world beyond my house, my work, and the number 254 bus between them.
Like I said in my last post, I REALLY don't get paid enough for this shit. At least not enough to stay in this job for an extended period of time. And I think this also illustrates why we have the problem that emergency services staff often struggle to actually live in London, despite having to work there. If only ALL jobs in London were subject to salary weighting. Or at the least, if only this country had a proper concept of a living wage and actually paid it. Currently, I'm 85p an hour below the rate set for the LLW, which equates to a difference of about £100 a month. At least maybe then I'd be able to eat and not be systematically bankrupting myself. In a perfect world, I'd like to actually contribute to my pension each month too. £100 per month paid from birth till retirement gives you a nice tidy pension of £500k, before adjusted for inflation and accrued benefits. My parents got me one and paid in it till i was 18, so I'm currently about £5k behind schedule. I often live beyond my means but I'm not completely idiotic.
Addendum: I also discovered I earn a mere 20p an hour more than the poverty level. whoo. That makes me £30 richer per month than an official poor person. This also puts me in the bottom 10% of full-time London earners, and sets me in approximately the 6th percentile, which let's face it, is a pretty crappy place to be, and sets me at worse than the majority of part time London earners. WHOOP!
Outgoings:
Rent: £433.33
Utilities: £50 (water, electric, gas, internet)
Phone: £50
Council Tax: £152
Credit Cards: £60 (2x £30)
Travel: £80 (£20pw)
This comes to outgoings of £825pcm
You may, or may not have noticed, this is not including food costs of approx. £100 per month, which I actually can't afford at the moment, so the bf keeps graciously buying it so that I don't starve, but thus my outgoings are in fact in the region of £1000pcm, before any incidentals or disposable income.
This is, as shown, in all cases, more than my monthly income.
And thus, I am flat broke., in fact I am beyond flat broke and steadily getting worse and worse, as inevitably, I do spend money on a magazine, or some lunch, or the extra £5 return travel to see a friend once a week, and the £10 monthly spotify membership so I can carry my music wherever I am, so I lose more than just £25 per month.
There are some fine points to note; I pay all the council tax by myself as I'm the only working person in my house, so I'm effectively paying 3 people's share of it. £1000 worth of outgoings sounds like a lot, but actually is fairly reasonable for someone living in London. When you think about it, this requires a net salary of £12k, which works out at around £13k gross, so hardly extravagant. I could live further out for cheaper, but that would involve longer commute times (not appreciated during 90 hour weeks), and incur higher transport costs, so a lot of the goodness would be negated. I could get rid of my mobile phone, or my spotify membership, and sell my tv and computer and such, but I like to allow myself some form of entertainment and connection to the rest of the world beyond my house, my work, and the number 254 bus between them.
Like I said in my last post, I REALLY don't get paid enough for this shit. At least not enough to stay in this job for an extended period of time. And I think this also illustrates why we have the problem that emergency services staff often struggle to actually live in London, despite having to work there. If only ALL jobs in London were subject to salary weighting. Or at the least, if only this country had a proper concept of a living wage and actually paid it. Currently, I'm 85p an hour below the rate set for the LLW, which equates to a difference of about £100 a month. At least maybe then I'd be able to eat and not be systematically bankrupting myself. In a perfect world, I'd like to actually contribute to my pension each month too. £100 per month paid from birth till retirement gives you a nice tidy pension of £500k, before adjusted for inflation and accrued benefits. My parents got me one and paid in it till i was 18, so I'm currently about £5k behind schedule. I often live beyond my means but I'm not completely idiotic.
Addendum: I also discovered I earn a mere 20p an hour more than the poverty level. whoo. That makes me £30 richer per month than an official poor person. This also puts me in the bottom 10% of full-time London earners, and sets me in approximately the 6th percentile, which let's face it, is a pretty crappy place to be, and sets me at worse than the majority of part time London earners. WHOOP!
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