Sometimes I have to forcibly remove myself from a situation before I say something I'll end up regretting. It's not that I'm too cowardly to say it, like most people tend to be - they'll think it but won't say it - it's that I'm biting my tongue and know if I don't leave swiftly I won't stop.
My flatmate is one of the people who does this to me. Mostly, cause she's a two faced bitch. I like her, let me say that first. She's perfectly simple to live with and we're both insomniacs so often end up talking into the night. But she is exceedingly two-faced. Most people wouldn't notice it, she never shows both faces at the same time, or one after the person in question has left the room. She shows them separated from each other by a fair amount of time, but I've noticed it for a fair while after 18 months of living with her. She talks perfectly pleasantly to 2 of my other flatmates, makes dinner with them, watches tv with them, asks how their day was, and then later, bitches to me about how they steal her sugar, how they never clean anything, how the two of them are so insular with each other. She sympathizes over crap that's going on in my life, about arguements with my parents, about the fact that I also hate taking money off them. And then berates me a few weeks later for pissing about with my life, for being 23 and not knowing what I want to do, for wasting my time doing a second degree, cause I wasted my time doing Classics originally, for not taking an offer in a job that would have mentally destroyed me. And of course she says she's only winding me up and joking. And to a large extent, she honestly is. But there's also that slight honest tinge, again too subtle for most people to notice. to everything she says, that indicates that's what she really does think; she just says it in jest as the only way to voice it.
I hate people like this. I'd rather they were honest with me.
There's a boy called Martin at UCL. And he is the most pompous arrogant ass you will have ever met. And beleive me I know what I'm talking about. I went to Uni with the Oxbridge rejects. I grew up and went to sixth form in Cambridge. I visit Oxford reguarly for the boyfriend. I spent the first 11 years of my life in the private education system. I know some pretty fucking pompous arrogant asses. But Martin beats them all. He is one of these people who genuinely seems to think he knows it all, that everyone else is beneath him and needs to be educated, that they hang on his every word and live for the bits of information he can offer the rest of the world. He makes facebook fan groups about himself. He likes his own statuses and comments. He posts constantly on the 'Overheard at UCL' group with fake conversations about how great a person he is and how every woman wants to bed him (but of course, he's far too superior to actually have sexual desires). I have come close to hitting him several times. He tried to argue the concept of karma with me once. Whilst the boy does know a lot, he knows a fair bit about everything. I on the other hand, know a fucking hell of a lot about karma and could have destroyed him easily. And in the crowded room we were in at the time, that would have been satisfying in so, so many ways. For everybody except him. But I didn't bother, because he's not worth the expense of breath and energy to argue with, whilst I would enjoy destroying him, I would get no enjoyment whatsoever out of arguing with him, and it would only promote him starting another discussion with me that he could win some other day. I once posted a status in latin, where I'd taken the end of one of Pliny's letters, and merely changed it from 1st to 3rd person. He sent me a private message saying he didn't understand what I was saying. He was oddly quiet when I mentioned it was actually a bit of established latin literature....
When the revolution comes, I shall take great pleasure in ramming something very horrific looking and painful up his rectum and out of throat.
And finally, Classics is well known for being an elitist environment. But the point was driven home to me the other day by a girl sitting in the corner, who I have no idea what name was, nor do I think I wish to know now. The dept common room was discussing the hilarity of the show 'My Super Sweet 16th', which is a chance for spoilt bratty priviliged tossers to show just how spoilt bratty and oblivious they truly are. Of course, it is thus intensely entertaining and mysteriously alluring. And us students watch it religiously on late night tv. So there we all were, slagging off all our different favourite episodes, and the ridiculous things these kids expect (importantly, not ask for), the tantrums they throw, and why the lot of us would probably be locked up for child abuse if we ever had to deal with kids like that, as they'd find themselves being slapped or just plain roundhouse kicked before they'd even opened their mouths. And at this juncture, the girl in the corner quips in, with all seriousness: "Well I think its pathetic really, that you're all so jealous of these beautiful people with these amazingly lives just because they're better than you." Of course, this was said in a completely perfect RP accent. The room sat stunned for several seconds before several muted laughs began to emerge. There was clearly no arguing with the woman. It was at this point I excused myself, pointing out otherwise I'd say something someone would regret. The sentiment from the room seemed to be in agreement with me rather than her....
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