Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight?

N.B. This is NOT a be all and end all guide, or even necessary the best way to do it.  This is what I have found based on my experiences.  This does not mean you should follow it, that it's for everyone, or that other people doing this will even agree with me.  This is my blog, with my thoughts on the subject, from what I've learnt.


So I was thinking of doing some sex related blog posts.  Which will probably come later.  Though in fairness this one is very much related..

A friend said I should talk about needle & bloodplay, and how to do it safely, as I'm one of the few people into it, and someone who actually understands the risks and such and knows how to avoid them etc.  Most of my friends know im into blood and needles.  And whilst none of them are, lots have a sort of morbid curiosity and are intrigued as to how it works, what level I'll do it to, what happens if things go wrong etc.

I'm not going to post how to do needle or bloodplay.  They are very very dangerous things that you should only ever do with someone experienced in it themselves, and learn from them.  No matter how many disclaimers I give here, I'm not going to post something that might lead to someone following it and getting it all wrong and hurting themselves or someone else, potentially fatally.  If you want to learn, you need to learn these things from someone who already knows it.  I will however, post about some of the issues and concerns to do with it.


First of all, lets deal with this basic concept of OMGTHISISFUCKINGDANGEROUS.  Seriously people, I'm into this shit and it's dangerous as hell.  There is a concept called Safe Sane Consensual Kink; SSCK.  There is a further concept called Risk Aware Consensual Kink; RACK.  This latter concept applies to any kink,in general in my opinion, but especially to the ones that are obviously a lot riskier - suspension, breathplay, chemsex, any form of edge play etc.  Yes yes we all hate health and safety.  But with all things, and especially blood/needleplay you should be very aware of what the dangers are, how to mitigate them, any individual issues that may present further risks that may not otherwise be obvious and KNOW YOUR LIMITS.  What are you capable of and how far can you be pushed?  I love being bitten and I can take biting on my shoulder blades or the back of my neck intensely hard, but everywhere else on my body I tend to be very sensitive.  I know this, and I adapt my kink accordingly.  So should you.  This is one of the many many reasons its important to learn this kind of kink play from someone who already knows it, you're dealing with an area where going past your limits doesn't just mean an unpleasant experience and perhaps some physical discomfort for a day or two, pushing yourself too far or too fast and ignoring the risks in this area can kill, paralyze, or at best give you a horrible infection.

Infections:
These are the major serious concern with blood/needleplay.  (For the record, I appreciate they are entirely different, if often concurrent, kinks, but I'm lumping them together here as the issues are pretty identical).  Safe sex, this is not.  Whether doing (relatively) light needleplay or full on cutting or even drinking of blood, at least one of you is exposing an open wound and fresh blood to the world and the other person(s).  Any blood borne illnesses, including of course HIV, are thus WAY out in the open.  A simple splatter can send whatever that person has flying into your mouth, eyes, nasal cavaties, urethra, vagina, anus, wherever.  (Incidently, this is why you shouldn't combine any form of flogging etc with blood - sends microscopic drops of blood flying EVERYWHERE - especially a concern if you have an audience).  On the reverse side, that person's immune system is now exposed to a lot.  It doesn't have the normal barriers of skin, saliva, mucus, etc to protect the body from infection, anything can get straight into their bloodstream right there no problem.  This is why when doing blood/needleplay you need to be VERY aware.  Especially if you're the top/dom/active/controlling partner.  You cannot necessarily rely in the receiving partner, a lot of them will go into subspace when doing this level of kink and may not be totally aware or coherent.  YOU have to think, and look, for both of you.

Reducing infection risk is pretty straight forward and obvious.  It's the same thing we've all had when we've gone to the doctors.  All equipment used must be sterile.  Preferably any kind of sharps should be single use and dispoable.  If you stop, and put it down for any reason, discard it and use a new one.  If you're using something again and again, either resterilize it, or make sure you put it somewhere clean and sterile in the first place.  WEAR GLOVES.  this is the simplest way of stopping infection.  Hands are dirty dirty places people. Especially during sex/kink.  Think of all the myriad places you might put them.  Or what you might pick up in your hand.  And where has that bottle of lube been during its lifetime?  Clean things, sterilize them, let them dry, wear gloves, and dispose of anything used PROPERLY.  And wash things clean afterwards.  Don't use soap on fresh wounds it'll just irritate them, just wash with plenty of clean water.  If you're really masochistic you could use surgical spirits or alcohol gel to truly sterilize the area around the wound, but it'll hurt like fuck.

Disposal:
You've been using sharps of some kind, that are now infected with at least one person's blood.  And are still sharp and pointy.  You can't just throw these in the trash people, they'll cut through your bin bag and put someone else's blood into some unsuspecting sap.  And blood is traceable :P  Ideally, all sharps should be disposed of in a sharps bin (you can buy these online - they're smaller versions of the big ones you see in hospitals).  When they're full take them to your local hospital or GP clinic and ask them to dispose of them.  If you have the confidence to do blood/needleplay on someone you should have the confidence to take responsibility for saying "here's a box of needles, please dispose of them safely for me."  Any other contaminated materials should ideally be incinerated.  I appreciate this may not be practical for everyone for whatever reasons, though really its what you should be doing.  As a secondary option, and I stress, SECONDARY, get a thick plastic container, some thick tupperware or the like.  CAREFULLY wrap up the sharp ends of sharps, in newspaper, bubblewrap, tape, etc.  Place the sharps and all contaminated materials into the container.  Seal it, and wrap that up with tape so the lid doesn't come off in the trash.  Write on the container DANGER CONTAINS SHARPS, and then dispose of with your normal trash.  But a sharps bin costs you all of a few £'s so please do this instead.

Maybe this all seems like excessive overkill to you, but frankly, with this kind of kink, at this kind of level, I'd rather be hugely over cautious than end up with a scalpel in someone's spine by accident.  And that leads us nicely to:

What to do when things go wrong:
With luck it hasn't gone too horribly wrong, maybe you cut a little deeper than you intended, or the pain was a little too intense for the receiver, maybe you've noticed a little too much blood than you'd expect, there is a myriad of things that could go wrong with this kind of play, the trick is to stay calm, stay in control, let the controlling partner do their job, and fix the problem as soon as possible.  It might be something really simple like you just happened to get a needle inserting itself right along a nerve ending.  It's unfortunate coincidence but it happens - usually the area goes red and inflammed pretty quickly.  Or it might be worse.  Whatever it is some decent first aid training is gonna come in pretty handy, an understanding of the body's pain response processes and the blood system is gonna be a godsend, and you should already have all the first aid equipment within reach.  Not across the other side of the person's body.  Not on the table behind you.  Next to you.  With everything you need.  Wound dressings, plasters, surgical spirits, swabs, gauze, scissors, AND A PHONE.  I always keep a phone within easy reach just in case things go SERIOUSLY wrong.  You can keep pressure on the wound to stem the bleeding and be on the phone to 999 at the same time as quickly as humanly possible.  Assuming it's just a minor incident, it's just simple first aid and wound dressing.  If it is safe to do so - i.e. it's not gonna cause more problems if you do this, remove whatever you've inserted wherever, and apply pressure as you would to any other wound.  Clean the area, and dress it appropriately.  If it wasn't obvious already if you've got to the point of dressing wounds the scene should have been completely stopped and not continue.  No matter what your sub says.  Remember your sub may still be very much in subspace, they potentially have a lot of chemicals floating in their body from the pleasure/pain responses that your play session has caused so far.  They may not act helpful or be thinking clearly.  And so you have to be the sensible one.  If the wound needs it, get to A&E as quickly as possible after.  Again this may all be over cautious, but needle and bloodplay are very dangerous things when done properly, let alone when things go wrong or if done improperly, so if you're not sure, or uncertain, or unconfident.  DON'T.


That's as much as I'm gonna write on the subject really.  I said I didn't want to get into talking about what sort of things I do and how I go about them because I don't want people to take them as a guide.  You need to learn your own limits, your own interests, and you REALLY need to learn it IN PERSON from someone who knows their stuff already.  This is not something you should be learning over the internet kids.

That said, there are certain resources to go to for more information.

I fully recommend the people at edgeplay.co.uk  They sell lots of supplies very cheaply and they really know their stuff.  They've seen it all, done it all, heard it all, and they are some of the best people to talk to.  I think they're usually at the London Fetish Fair.

Fetlife has some great groups and message boards and a lot of people who have been doing this a long time.  They can help talk to you about interests, resources in your community, best practices and techniques, and they can also give you all the horror stories about BAD instances of blood/needleplay

I myself am happy to talk to people on the subject further, but only in person, the stuff I've told you is about as much as I'm willing to tell you without knowing you're a sane person with half an idea of what they're asking about.


The next post will be on something far more normal, it's basically going to be a guide to being a good bottom.

Dynamics

So you all know, at least by now, that I'm a rather hardcore sub.  I like it hard, I like it rough, I like it sleazy.  Half the scenarios I'm interested in or have done are the sort of things that would disgust half of you.  I am the boy your mother warned you about.  And I don't do half of what I'd like to given the opportunity.  And as my renting life shows, given the right price, I can be just about anyone's (though even renting, there are guys I say no to).

There is however a small part of me, that is top and/or dom.  A small part, but a fundamental and very enjoyed part of me.  But what most people don't know, is that whilst I will gladly be sub for a wide range of people, I am extremely picky as a top/dom.  So if I've ever done or expressed an interest in playing that role with you, you just got a free compliment.  That's not saying I'll be sub to guys uglier than I'd top.  Just that I have different tastes according to what I'm doing.  My sub tastes are rather broad, and whilst, even renting, I've never slept with anyone I did find attractive in some way, even if that was just their sparkling personality, there are guys I would kill to sub for, or even just get fucked by, that I have no interest whatsoever in screwing myself, or tieing up and spanking.

I'm a rather sadistic dom.  Not stupidly so, I still appreciate there's only so far you can push people, but I do like to hear whimpers of pain being inflicted on a boy if I've tied them up.  I think anyone who was my boyfriend, would have to be partially vers.  They can fuck me a lot, but I want to fuck them one out of every five times or so.  Jack is a wierd one, he's always fucked me, and yet, he actually makes me about 75% top; just something about him.  I've certainly never been a submissive bottom with him, always a very active and aggressive one.  Tonight I got talking to an INSANELY hot completely passive sub boy who wants me to dom him, and I'm very eager to do so with him.  He definitely passes my picky top/dom tastes.  Hell the boy's dressing up in trackies and a collar for me and loves humiliation, this is gonna be sooooo much fun.

In some ways, I guess you'd describe my top or dom tastes as rather boring.  They have to be the picture perfect young jock, athletic and defined, but not totally muscular, think Hollister Co imagery.  Or the skinny geekhot shoreditch indieboy type to a lesser extent.  And that's somewhat similar to my straight tastes.  As a straight guy, I'm also very picky, the girls I like are not the shy librarian beauty in a non-obvious way type, it's the femme fatale every man turns to look at her in a room type, more or less.  There are of  course, exceptions to this, both in straight tastes and top tastes, but those are by definition, rare.  The downside of my straight taste is I get hardly any chance to indulge it, what with being generally a submissive gay kinkboy; it's not the best chat-up line.  And whilst I can seemingly spark the interest of guys which should clearly be way out of my league (insanelyhotboy for one) in the gay world, especially as a sub - there are advantages to being small, light, aggressive, and sleazy as hell - I'm very well aware that any girl even slightly out of my league would laugh incredulously at me if I attempted to get anywhere with them, let alone the leagues the ones I'm interested in inhabit.

I'm actually completely different with girls, hardly kinky at all, the generic now socially acceptable slap-and-tickle perhaps, but nothing like what I get up to in my gay life, from either a dom or a sub perspective.  It's all straight forward and vanilla with possibly a little more courtesy for their enjoyment of the situation by virtue of being otherwise both gay and a sub.  I'd find it very hard to sub to a girl.  Only one type possibly interests me on that front, and that's the vamp goth kink girl.  Think vampire Willow from Buffy.  If a girl like that comes up to me at Crimson and wants to flog me I'll gladly follow her round on my knees, but again, thats a very high league kinda girl, and one I'm not likely to get, so I'll be happy enough to find a girl I can play with in a bed, rather than worry about finding one who will suspend me from the ceiling.

A question which I may ask my bisexual friends: the entenal query of T, or A, I fall very much on the breasts line.  Don't get me wrong, girls can have nice arses, and shown off in a skirt in summer, I'm a happy clappy straight boy, and I do have an appreciation for the J-Lo style of arse, but guys arses are generally nicer in my opinion.  Arses are everywhere, I can get them anywhere.  What I can't get on a guy, or at the very least, I really don't want, are breasts, and straight men love breasts, and I'm no exception.  But I wonder if this is a general trend amongst bi guys, or just me, and whether its affected by bi guys who are more into girls versus bi guys who are more into guys.

Excuse me whilst I go jack off about girls...

The Duty of Care

This is a post on kink I've been meaning to write for quite a while, and is indirectly a long overdue reply to a post Joel made a while ago.

As he puts it, there are largely 2 kinds of doms, the kind who want something to use and discard, with little regard for the person submitting to them, and the kind who regardless of whether its a single session, or a full blown LTR, feel a strong sense of responsibility to the boy they've got tied down.

This got me thinking... And as touched upon in the previous post, a good dom, is one who realises that the sub is the one truly in control, they are surrendering that control and placing a huge amount of trust in the dom; that the dom will read them correctly and respond accordingly, that the dom won't rape them, that the dom will stop if you signal that things have gone too far, that the dom won't do anything you have a hard limit against. The good dom understands how to push a boy, that whilst a boy may not like things, or may only be able to take so much, with time, and care, and proficiency, you can stretch those, and you can introduce the boy to something they'd never thought possible; they can learn to take sounds, they can be cut, they can be hit harder with that person than any other person could possibly get them near.

And equally the good dom is rewarded by all this; they feel privileged by the trust that the sub places upon them, that the sub would surrender themselves so to the dom's whims, they feel a sense of accomplishment, both for themselves, and a sympathetic one for the sub, when they consensually and successfully push a sub further than before.  Their aim isn't to make the sub into what they want, their aim is to help the sub realise their potential, and if everyone's lucky, the sub's realization and the dom's wants match up, and you get a working, healthy, Dom/sub relationship.

Joel asked me recently why I love my broken boys so much. I replied "i get on with them. there's the whole attractive dark broody damaged bad boy thing. we understand each other, even if we're not broken in the same ways."  What I failed to mention, though Joel picked up on, and its one of the same reason that he loves broken boys so much, is that I can care for broken boys.  In a way that I don't feel I can for normal people.  I might be broken, and they might be too, and we might not work well at all, but we can take care of each other just as well or badly as the other one.  In a way it makes things equal.  (Incidentally, whilst looking through my message history for this, I had to browse through the message history of when Joel and I first started talking to each other properly and rather into each other, it's sweet, and makes a boy feel good about himself.  I have a whole post to come up on 'the thrill of the chase', but there's another 10 or so things still left on my long list, so bear with me)

In my experience and understanding, both personal and talking to other friends I have, both sub and dom, and what can be so hard for non kink people to understand is that both people get so much out of this arrangement.  Sure, the dom gets something to 'use', someone to make them the early morning cup of tea, someone to carry the bags, someone to wake them up with a blowjob, but he gets someone to take care of, who craves love and attention and affection, who needs protecting, who's fragile and who needs direction.  And what the non-kink people don't tend to appreciate, is that the sub gets exactly the same things.  Making those cups of tea, giving their master head whilst they watch tv, gives the sub a huge sense of pride.  If fulfills them.  They can't protect themselves, but they can protect their master.  Hell hath no fury like a sub whose master has been scorned. 

People often assume that the dom protects the sub, and in return the sub says thank you in both sexual and non sexual favours.  And that's not the case at all.  It's a duty of care, in both directions, it just manifests itself differently due to the dynamic of the relationship.  The dom cares for the sub, and in return the sub cares for the dom; holding the guy's head whilst facefucking him can be the best expression of love affection and care if you know the dynamic of the relationship, and realise how that shows not just one guy using another aggressively, but both caring intimately for each other and being equal in a way that's never admitted, but always there.


Music:  http://open.spotify.com/user/jorgamond/playlist/3NtB2ywaRezWrMaFClKSci

KINKending your Bank Holiday...

Anyone who gets the reference in that title is clearly a pervert.  And I love you for it.


My friend Patrick came down over the bank holiday weekend.  Patrick is one of those in my kink circle of friends; the circle of friends where we've pretty much all either slept with each other, randomly groped each other, or been present whilst others have been having sex amongst themselves.  Think shortbus, if it was a social group, rather than a club.  In some ways its surreal, and in some ways its completely comfortable and very liberal.  Importantly for this post, Patrick is a pup.  And whilst a bottom, he's also quite strong and likes to fight back, and wrestle, and bite, and does have a few dom tendencies in him.

Naturally, this made for an interesting weekend.  It sort of all started from a message that went:
'why didn't we jump each other last time i saw you'
'cause you had a photoshoot the next day and couldn't get marked' 
'oh yeah, well you should come down and rectify that' 
'okey dokey then'
Whilst we quite liked each other, and I knew he was pup and he knew I liked my biting and scratching, that was about it, we'd never properly played with each other, or had a chance to explore each other's reactions, and what with both being largely sub, it was always going to be a bit of a bizarre weekend.

But of course in my world bizarre is fun, yes there was shagging, yes there was a surreal evening introducing my flatmate to flogging, pinwheels and rope, yes Patrick overpowered and screwed the hell out of me, yes he went pup and I played with him for a good while, but that's not actually what I've written this all down to blog about, this is just context for your information.


Pretty much everyone of you knows I'm kinky, perhaps not to what extent, though I'm sure this blog has gone some way towards improving that, but you do know that I'm kinky.  The large majority of you probably also know/can infer that Chris is also kinky.  However Chris is only really kinky by association with me.  That's not to say that he doesn't enjoy it, but that it's not a natural thought process or disposition for him.  As such, whilst we might have rough or aggressive sex fairly regularly, actual extended or involved kink play on any level is a rare occurrence for me, as its usually something I have to look for elsewhere.

This result of this, and of renting, where kinky tends to be hard and heavy, means I forget how sensual and intimate kink can be at times.  How fulfilling to a sub.  How rewarding as a dom.  We spent Sunday night teaching my flatmate how floggers and pinwheels weren't about pain, its about the sensitivity of the body, about manipulating the flogger's path to affect the hit that results, a heavy thudding weighty hit, or a light stingy hit at the tip of the falls, about how you can inspire trust in someone, and take them through things they didn't think they'd ever face, or enjoy.  And sometimes I forget these things myself.

It's widely recognised, at least amongst anybody I consider to be decently involved in the kink scene, that regardless of how rough, aggressive, hard, 'abusive', any particular session may be, what makes a good dom is the pre & after care.  Talking someone through what's going to happen, finding out their pressure points, judging and gauging their reactions and adjusting your kink accordingly, knowing that it's not about you pushing them, but about you learning how their body works, and using their body to push themselves, holding them afterwards and helping to bring them back into themselves, to let them recover and making them feel protected.  The dom doesn't need to be especially close emotionally to you to do this, but after a kink session the sub almost always feels vulnerable, and needs a body close to it on an instinctual level, to know that its not alone, to know that its safe, to know that whatever just happened, you haven't been abandoned or discarded.

I spent ages with Patrick just rubbing his tummy, him in pup mode, tongue sticking out and paws up in the air, and we both could have gladly done that for hours.  I was curled up in bed last night thinking how fulfilling it had been as a sub to have some decent kink, that didn't end in getting paid, and grabbing a cab home, we could lie there and I could be taken care of.  I've got a whole post to come on this dom/sub duty of care balance to come, it's been on the list of things to write, but this should come first I felt.  I love Chris, but I do wish he was more naturally kink minded at times, because being tied down to the bed, blindfolded, with a hot knife on my back was a better experience, and more intimate as a submissive, than any fuck we've had.


Mood: Amused by the antics of my flatmate

Music: http://www.myspace.com/jacobdiefenbach

Ce bel amor qui ne peut mourir...

I miss you so much. It hurts. Like hell. Every single day. I know you're busy, and out of sight is out of mind, and neither of us have had time or money and your life requires the whole of you. And that's fine, but I still miss you. I still love you. I still want to be with you even though I can't. I miss the feel of you. I miss your smile. I miss the way how you melt into me when I hol you. I miss the wonder and amazement in your eyes, at every little thing in the world. I miss the way nothing is the same around you. I miss the need to try and kill you, because if I don't you'll actually kill me. I miss being the strong one for a change. I hate the fact you're so close and yet so far. I hate you live in the middle of nowhere. I hate that I have virtually no way of contacting you, ever. I'm scared that you hate me. I'm scared you don't actually like me that much anymore. I'm scared I'll never be included in your life. I'm scared you'll be gone before I get to see you one more time. I wonder why it takes us so long to admit we love each other every time we meet. I wonder why we eventually do admit it each time. I wonder when I'll next see, of if I'll even have that option.. I love you. I miss you. I need you. I want you. Please be mine.

Ce bel amor qui ne peut mourir...

I miss you so much. It hurts. Like hell. Every single day. I know you're hurting right now, and me, and us, and all that is probably exactly what you don't need to deal with at this moment. And that's fine, but I still miss you. I still love you. I still want to be with you even though I can't. I miss the feel of you. I miss your smile. I miss the way you'd hold me. I miss the way you look at me, like I'm the one in a higher league. I miss your cocky, arrogant bullshit. I miss fighting with you. I miss you beating me. I hate the fact you're 4500 miles away. I hate the fact I can't just jump on a bus, or a train and come and see you. I hate the fact that will never change. I hate that loving you is just something that will always be in our heads. I hate that too see you even once more, the entire universe would have to shift for me. I'm scared that you'll fall out of love with me. I'm scared you'll forget about me. I'm scared I'll always have to sit on the sidelines and watch. I wonder why you love me. I wonder why you told me you loved me. I wonder when, if ever, I'll next get a chance to see you again. I love you. I miss you. I need you. I want you. Please be mine.

Lock and Load

Well that worked out a week's worth of frustration.

Everyone knows sex is good for you, it keeps you healthy, it gives you a workout, it helps you work out aggression and tension.  Dan Savage even has a clip about how the aggressiveness of sex allows you to get over all the things that frustrate you about your partner in a relationship, and its true, and if you play as hard and rough as I like to then it definitely helps to purge your system.

I met up with a fuckbuddy yesterday evening.  It took me OVER AN HOUR to get from Westbourne Park to Baron's Court, which I was not impressed at, espeically as it ate into the time I had with him before his flatmates got home :P  He's a guy I've known for several years, but we don't meet up much, simply because we both have insanely busy lives.  But this is good, cause it means we understand the fact that each other might not be available for months at a time, and in the gay cruising world where its all about right here right now, someone that understands you want to get freaky with them, you just can't right this second, is a rarity.

This boy definitely plays hard, and considers me worth waiting for as I can apparently take it ('it' meaning lots of things here, not just the actual fucking) harder than any of the other guys he plays with.  Any sex between the two of us generally tends to just be a rapeplay session, which isn't something I'm complaining about, and he's damned good at giving me lots of verbal (that's talking dirty to the rest of you), which is possibly my favouritest thing in sex.  Anyway, after an hour and a quarter wearing each other out. off I headed to go get the bus home (which thankfully only took the usual 25 minutes this time around.)

And on the way home, after a week where I've been mostly lost in my own head, thinking about Chris, and Uni, and Terence, and Jack, and the summer, and next year, and everything like that, my head was completely calm.  And I remembered how a good hard fuck can just clear everything up for you, and make life completely simple.  It's not that I suddenly knew the answer to all the questions I've been asking myself recentl; I just simply couldn't recall the fact there was a question in the first place.  And of course, Chris normally does this when I see him each weekend, and sure we had sex last weekend, but given that he's part of the things going through my head, it didn't have quite the same effect.

So let this be a lesson to you all, in case you didn't already know it.  When it all gets to much, when you're screaming at yourself, when you could gladly run away from it all and never look back, go have sex.  Raw, exhausting, aggressive, primal, animalistic sex.  You should hurt afterwards.  And be ready to collapse the second you get back into your own bed.

And I guarantee you everything will be that much simpler for a few hours.


How's that for honest and graphic?

And of course, the sentiment didn't last; I spent the early hours of the morning pacing around my room thinking about boys.  Luckily, as previously mentioned, the gay scene is geared to right here right now, so that's always fixable with the next guy...


Mood:  At the time: serene.  Now: Moderate.

Music: http://open.spotify.com/user/jorgamond/playlist/2TgyP8angOVe5PxfnuEVfO

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming...

Hello all,

Apologies for the rather sparse posting of late.  For those who don't know I've been producing the annual UCL Classics Play, which was on last week.  This results in much stress, little sleep, and the elimination of the words 'free' and 'time' from your vocabulary.  That said, I love it.  The major depression I've been in vanished away after the last night, when I got the epic buzz I always get for knowing I've put on a successful production, and I was one of the lead roles in making it happen.  I ended up in mania all weekend and it wasn't till this week when I started back at uni that the mania faded and I slipped back into the depression (the issues haven't been dealt with, hence returning to it)

There are few secrets to reveal, someone mentioned they liked the tag around my neck and asked if the barcode actually linked to anything, which I've already discussed in this post.

We had a birthday party for one of my flatmates recently, for which we had to move the sofas out of the way.  Upon doing so we found the usual deluge of crap that tends to work its way underneath furniture, however we also found one slightly more unusual item... about 2" in diameter, metal, circular... my flatmates weren't 100% sure what it was, but knew somehow I'd be the culprit.  Sure enough, it was a cockring, left behind when I had a load of friends stay over and we violated the 'no orgies in the living room' rule my flatamtes have inflicted upon me.  Yes, my flatmates have that much faith in the sort of things I tend to get up to that they have felt the need to enact a 'no orgies in the living room rule', which as this episode shows, has been promptly ignored.  On the plus side, I've got a free cock ring out of it.


The next Crimson date has been announced, 10th April, if anyone wants to come with, get in contact, it's a truly AMAZING night with lots of fun friendly people.  I'm already planning my costumage...

I'm also currently planning how to make some Starkiller outfits, both the standard mummy banadages looking outfit and the jedi robed one.

And now I must return to the Laundry in order to ensure my drying is done in good time before it shuts...

As a final point, it's a month to go to the Vernal Equinox.  I'm very much looking forward to the equinox this year, as I've been working on a servitor/eidolon project for quite a while (about 6 months), with a view to finally activating it on the equinox.  The energy store I've built to do this with is about the size of France.  And at some point that has to go through me.  I may draft in Joel to make sure i don't set off a small nuclear explosion in West London.   (have i mentioned i'm a chaote?  i'll check at some point and post details in the next post that will make more sense of this one if not)



Mood: Despondant, mixed with happy clappy dancing gay, mixed with overcharged pagan.

Music: http://open.spotify.com/user/jorgamond/playlist/401u7C71c936vv69MeIgTJ

I'm not normal

If you don't want a very very disturbing insight into the kind of things that get me off, best turn away now, and skip reading this post entirely.  Otherwise, welcome to the freakdom that is me.




My flatmate asked me how my night was and where I went when I got up for lunch.  I had to omit certain bits of information for the sake of his sanity.  I went to a clubnight called Crimson, recommended to Joel and I by the amazing woman who runs Edgeplay at Mass in Brixton.  It's a rather expensive (£20 entry fee) fetish night, along the lines of Torture Garden, but pretty much anything goes, which is why the edgeplay woman told us to come in the first place.  Dress code entry, which was fetish/burlesque/medical/uniforms/anything bizzare and out there.  I was in stupidly tight black trousers, my poet shirt, a gold brocade waistcoat which i'd just finished making, and my venetian mask.   Joel wore black trousers, a white shirt, PVC opera gloves, and his cyborg contact.  Seany was in leathers, and Adam was in rubber.

Being our first time, we weren't sure what exactly we'd be let in the door with, 'toys'-wise, so opted for nothing to be safe, but turns out the answer truly is anything goes.    Skipping the usual Collared to attend Crimson, there was a much bigger emphasis on play rather than just socializing with kinky friends.  There was loads of amazing dungeon furniture, violet wands, pinwheels, the standard flogging etc, furries of course,   Joel and Seany got a decent crowd watching them when seany was strapped into what can only be described as a bondage chair with a nipple clamp rack attachment.  I saw a lot more people biting and scratching each other than the solitary couple at Fangtasia the week before.  The crowd was pretty young and varied, there were some very attractive couples there, an amazingly hot boy in a leathery/rubbery kilt, plenty of eye candy all round really, and if that wasn't enough, there were the bits of play to watch - the medical area which had needleplay, and corset piercings happening all night had me captivated; there was a very funky suspension bondage spectacle, which was a lot better and a lot safer than the one performed at Fangtasia, and there was a very convincing rapeplay demo - clothes were actually ripped, there was spitting, biting, kicking, bleeding, and at the end of it all the girl had a huge grin on her face and was laughing hysterically, just before you all get worried.  Certainly not the sort of thing I would have seen at Collared, it would have sent most of them running.  Joel and I were glued to the performance of course :P

Despite being an expensive night, it's definitely one I plan to do again and again, and the consensus from the other 3 was the same.  I just need to build up an array of outfits to actually go in :P  But to sum up, the things you have learnt from this post, are I like biting, scratching, bleeding, sharp pointy things, and rapeplay.  YOu thought I was wierd, but I bet you never would have guessed this weird....

Yes I did just spell that 2 different ways in the same sentence.



Mood: Schleepy, and avoidant of coursework

Music:  http://open.spotify.com/user/jorgamond/playlist/15HV1hzH5hOZYl8ppaY1J7

The Theory....

I've had this theory for a long time. That nobody's world is ever bigger than 5 people. 6 degrees of separation probably works off a similar idea. Your 5 people change throughout your life obviously, and sometimes even on a day to day basis, but these are the people closest to you, the ones you tell all your secrets, the ones who if they ever got together, would probably know everything there is to know about you, the ones who support you and keep you going.

When you're a child, your parents are two of them, as you grow up, it becomes friends from school, later your boss, or a partner of some sort might feature. Some of them will be there for a day, and then disappear off again for a few months, some are more or less permenant fixtures.

Currently my world consists of the boyfriend - Chris, a friend named Joel, one of his boys called Seany, another friend called Lisa, and my best and oldest friend called Jamie, who has his birthday sometime around now.

Think of a friend you know really well, you can apply it to them, it might not be the people they talk to or see most, hell I haven't seen Jme in ages, but there's usually not more than 5 of them. Even where couples are concerned, its usually the case that someone is closer with one than the other, because they knew them first, or because they have more in common.

As my 5 people change throughout the year, I'll try and let you know, you might find it interesting.


Music http://open.spotify.com/user/jorgamond/playlist/1MR6CjRCd1bceiiKCQWh5i
Mood: much the same as before, with a bit of depression mixed in.